death, love, and walls.

So I'm feeling more comfortable in France.  I've been thinking a lot about all the people I know who moved to the States from another country, and... I guess, as it would be for anyone who goes through something they've never been through before, I feel like I understand what it must have been like for them now.  The hardships, never feeling 'at home,' missing things you never thought you'd miss, hearing your language spoken by someone who is native and like - automatically wanting to be best friends with them in the supermarket or train station...  these used to be foreign concepts to me, but now I see them so clearly.  This trip has changed me - something I rarely like to admit.  I always want to have all the answers to life, and think, since I was young, that I've got "it" figured out, whatever "it" is, but... the longer I live, the more I understand about life, the more I understand the little I truly know.

I think I've started to compile a list of things I'm going to miss about France.  As my time winds down here and the months roll to a close, I'd like to list a few things I've learned to like about France, and the European way of life, that I will miss when I come back to the Land of Debt.

7. Socialism causing people to be nicer to each other.

As much as I disagree with the economic and social policies that surround socialism, since everyone is pretty much in the same boat, they seem to share a common sense of struggle and "middle-class-ness" that you don't find in America.

6. Buses

You know, driving, especially down the PCH late at night, looking at the ocean, smelling the sea, listening to music and singing alot to Jack's Mannequin trying to hit all the notes - I REALLY miss that, and I'm looking forward to being able to drive again, but... I think driving also really isolates people sometimes, and it's pretty expensive.  I've lost a lot of weight here just walking everywhere.  Walking to the bus stop, walking from the nearest stop to my destination, not having to worry about buying a car, servicing it, paying for auto insurance, parking, car washing - paying 1 euro regardless of where i need to go in the city... these are really nice things.  You also talk to people on the bus, when everyone uses it you don't feel anymore like it's just for poor people anymore, but that everyone uses them.  I think in the States busses are only for poor people, because cool people can afford cars.  I like taking the bus now, a lot.

5. Inexpensive Bread

This one's pretty self explanatory, but having entire stores dedicated to the inexpensive sale of bread, (like, 60 cents for a freshly cooked baguette?  seriously?)

4. 2 weeks of vacation for every like... 4 that I work

I think if I had more money, or friends, or car, I could do more with these long vacations - like, in the United States it would be great, but now I pretty much just them to update my facebook status and level my warrior on WoW...  but still, it's really nice that you get so much vacation.  Again, I totally disagree with this as an economic policy, but since I'm not staying in the country very long, I'll work with it.

3. Crocodiles

Pronounced craw-koe-deelz, these little gummy-worm type goodnesses are one euro per bag, and incredible.  However much weight I've lost in France, these little guys are responsible for at least a few staying on me.

2. My job

It's weird... Since I was about 4 I think I wanted to be a teacher of some sort.  I think part of me, (and anyone who knows me will probably agree,) has always liked feeling smarter than others around me.  Though I could write a novel on why this exists, (it's a long story...) a part of me also really likes teaching others things.  I like the real-ness of taking something in my head, passing it on to someone else, and having them be the better from it.  As much as I am a fan of technology and bits and bytes, people still interest me above all else, and it's from interaction with people that I get my greatest satisfaction.  I am going to miss my job, and not because it's the first time in my life I've been "cool" or the object of attention for so many, but because I feel like I am actually doing something.  Whether I am impacting a thousand students or 1, I know that I have given that spark of interest to at least a few young French minds, and that because of me coming to France, their lives will change, maybe a little, maybe a lot, but they will.

1. French

I guess this one is kind of obvious, but I almost forgot it.  These aren't in any particular order, just six random things that I will miss, but French is a big part of it.  You know, I feel that in some ways, my French has improved by leaps and bounds, mostly in my ability to understand it, but I'm not sure how much better my ability to speak has gotten.  I'm sure it has improved a lot, my roommates and students tell me so, but I'm not sure I feel it.  French is a really, really hard language to perfect, and to the French, you either speak the language, or you don't.  There doesn't seem to be any "oh-well-I'm-learning-can-you-cut-me-a-LITTLE-slack?"  But I'm getting closer and closer to being "almost French," (as the title goes...), but I'm far far far from that stage.  I just... I like the language.  It's much harder than Spanish, mainly due to pronunciation issues, and certain slang terms that are hard to pick up, but I like the fact that something is difficult, that it's not just easy to fit into, maybe like it would have been were I to have gone to Spain. 

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Death, love and walls.  These words translate into French as "le mort," "l'amour," and "le mur."  The sound in the middle of all of these words are pretty much the same in English, and the third, the "u" in "mur" doesn't exist in English, so when we hear it, we attribute a mixture of two sounds, kind of like the end of the "u" sound in "pure," and the actual "oo" sound in "cool." It's really hard though because these are different sounds in French.  I finally know why Asian people don't laugh at themselves for saying flied lice. :(   One of my favorite classes ever was linguistics, about how language works and is built and how phonemes are heard in different languages (and sometimes different regions,) and this is a total case where I am victim of this.  I have a totally hard time saying these 3 words, but I'm getting better.  The other night I was having a conversation with a guy while I was pretty drunk, and he was wasted, and suddenly I realized that I actually understood what he was saying, and it was SUCH a great feeling.  Feeling that my mind was parsing the individual words at the actual speed they were leaving his mouth, and that I could hear the slang and pick up on it immediately was just... incredible.