It's nice that Rebecca found a job, it means we may possibly be able to survive while we're here, after the $1000 a month rent at minimum that we're finding. I just... hoped this year would be different from the last. I spent so long in San Diego looking for a job, and I don't know what to feel other than completely useless when I can't get a job anywhere. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I'm not sorry I came here, it's a great experience, even if it sucks right now. Culturally, I'm perplexed by Australians. I don't seem to get them, and they don't seem to get me. We speak the same language, but after conversations I always feel like I came across poorly, or I offended someone, or half the time I feel that people just don't like me, and I'm not really used to that. I feel like since graduating college, I haven't really had a great job. My job at EMN8 really allowed me to grow, my job in France was fun, and I feel like I did such a great job and made a lasting effect on people, but I am hungry for a full time job, doing something that is more than just answering phones or pushing papers. I came here so I could have a better life, and I really thought that that was possible, but now I am not sure... I am just getting depressed, every day a little more... frustrated by the hours and hours I spend in front of the computer working on resumes, looking for jobs, and hearing nothing, over and over again. I just want something.
I've spoken with temp agencies, searched job sites for "work visa" and "462" (the number of my visa,) and I've heard nothing. I'm at the point where I'll take anything now, just to survive, but "just surviving" is really frustrating after spending 5 years in college, and having 3 years of post-college work experience. I feel like I could have done 90% of the jobs I'm applying for when I was 15, so I ask myself why I even went to college if this is what I am getting out of it. I am tired as well of everyone telling me that "it will get better," or that "the job market is just bad right now," I know it's bad right now, but everyone else I know seems to have a job... I just feel retarded that I can't get one. I am a smart guy, I have a good resume, and I'm a good person... I am just tired of waking up every morning to another empty inbox.
This is pretty much what I think is happening to all of my resumes.
So I'm not sure what to do. I know that as each day goes by, my visa runs out further and further, and if I'm not finding work, Rebecca and I can't save for our future - we can barely rent a place to live. I am tired of living in other people's houses, feeling like a bum who is lazy and unemployed, but I don't know what else to do. Maybe I need an encouraging word, maybe I am just writing this because I can't stand the sight of job websites right now, maybe I am just fed up, I don't know.
Rebecca and I have made such detailed plans with what we want to do in the future; we want to move back to France, get jobs, get masters degrees - but all of that starts with saving up and paying off our debts... I have tried everything I can think of, and nothing...... I'm just stuck, and hopeless-feeling.
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